I have finally pinpointed the source of my anxiety and depression, and am taking action to combat it.
In one hand is a trash bag, in the other, a donation box. Bring it on.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Procrastination, Thy Name is Me.

I have been struggling here. I had have grand plans, but I can't seem to buckle down and accomplish them. I think I'm just overwhelmed. No big surprise, right? The entire point of becoming a minimalist is to live a simpler life. When I look around, though, and see the complicated mess we live in, I freeze up.

I've seriously spent the past week+ avoiding the issue. I tried a few times to work on things in my bedroom, but as a SAHM to two toddler boys, I soon found myself giving up, shoving everything into a lump in the corner, and pretending it wasn't there. My bedroom has actually gotten WORSE since I started trying to declutter. I go in there, and feel like crying, I'm so overwhelmed. This morning I found myself daydreaming about some kind of fire or flood... that is NOT healthy thinking. I would just trash everything and start over, but as much as there is a lot of crap stuff in there, there's also a lot of nice, important things there.

Here... I'll show you what I'm talking about. This is just a peek of my bedroom, through the door...

I'm seriously so close to not sharing this, I'm really embarrassed. Maybe I'll be able to shame myself into getting it all finished, if for no other reason than that that I need to redeem myself.

Like I said before, it has gotten worse since I started trying to get things cleaned out. The dresser is covered in all the books that used to be in storage or on our second bookshelf (the repurposed DVD rack.) We were going to order a second, matching bookshelf ($25 @ Walmart.com!) so that our needs would be met... but they are out of stock! There is one that matches it in the boys' bedroom, so I'm considering stealing it and getting a different style for their room. I guess we'll see if it comes back into stock in the next couple days. I don't want to wait any longer.

The hope chest is now empty! It used to contain all of my "this is too precious to toss, but I can't justify having it out" stuff. You know... precious baby shoes, moments from our wedding, my graduation cap, love letters, things of that nature. I managed to whittle it down to just the things that would make me cry should they be lost, and put them into a rubbermaid container. I marked it <3PRECIOUS THINGS<3 and lovingly booted it all to storage. The bin is only half full, so there's plenty of space for me to squirrel away future items.

I'm planning on putting our sheets and blankets (currently stacked against one wall, yikes!) into the chest. Hopefully that will open up some space so that I'm not quite so overwhelmed at the thought of working in there.

As much as I'd like to go through my clothes RIGHT NOW, it's just not realistic. I'd have to have a whole day, and tackle the entire room. In my life, that's not happening. I guess I'll just have to keep chipping at it, one pile at a time.

1 comment:

  1. Hah! That's so funny! I first decided to declutter in December, and right after I made the apartment worse I left the state for Christmas. While I was gone I thought of the mess I had to go home to and the work I had ahead of me and found myself day dreaming of an earthquake, a fire...anything that would destroy my apartment so I could just collect the insurance money. I actually wanted my apartment be destroyed for Christmas. Sad.

    But it gets better! Much better! Decluttering is fun! You just have to dive right in and find your groove. Good luck!!